I Need A Break From My Life

I nailed the job interview. Nailed it. A friend who works there was told I was their top pick. Unfortunately, the three people who interviewed me, aren’t the ones who make the final decision. I received my rejection email this morning and I just burst into tears. I guarantee whomever is offered the position is connected personally to the main guy making the decision. It’s not about your experience or knowledge anymore. It’s about who you know.

The accident situation has gotten worse. DH has been hospitalized twice. He was in tears and unable to walk due to back pain. We’re awaiting an MRI, which costs $1600 out of pocket after insurance. I pray he doesn’t need back surgery. The at-fault driver’s insurance lowballed us an offer that doesn’t even pay off the car loan, and is nearly half it’s value. They wouldn’t budge, became increasingly difficult to communicate with, and were just plain nasty.

Other driver’s insurance told DH to contact our insurance to handle it if we had a problem with their offer. Our insurance company said they can’t do anything and don’t know why they’d tell us to call them. I thought they were suppose to work on our behalf in situations like these?! DH hired a lawyer. Sigh.

In the meantime, we have a totaled vehicle that’s in pieces at a body shop that we cannot retrieve. We still have to make car payments and insurance payments. We need a car. We don’t have money for a car. We went to the body shop to retrieve our belongings from the truck: it was initially dropped off for a “minor repair” and was drivable. It was in pieces, with windows down, and the front shoved into bushes. The vehicle is infested with millions of ants and bug eggs, we couldn’t even get our stuff. It’s ruined. Absolutely ruined, all of it.

“Act of God” for the nasty bugs, according to the rude body shop lady. But would this “Act of God” have been an issue if some dumbass didn’t fly through a red light at 50mph and cause an accident? NO.

Now I have to cook for my ungrateful family for Thanksgiving, and I am in no mood for it. I’m trying hard to be thankful and get into the holiday spirit, for my kids, but it’s hard right now. My anxiety level is through the roof. I went to the doctor and was prescribed anxiety medications to help. I went to pick that up today and my insurance denied it. The doctor wrote it for 30 days, but insurance will only approve 90 days. Now my doctors office is closed until next Monday and their after hours line can’t (won’t?) resubmit without doctor approval. Sighhhhhh.

I’ll get through it, but not without a bit of complaining on this blog of mine. Thanks for reading and putting up with my whining here. I hope going into the New Year soon, things will improve.

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One Door Closes, Another Opens

I received a call last week regarding a job I applied for, to set up an interview.  It was a full-time position.  As hesitant as I was with going full-time, DS2’s medical issues seem to be maintained now, and we do not have frequent appointments.  I felt confident I could go full-time.

Then DS1 developed some issues.  Too long to post, but the short version is that he had an MRI and they found something.  Now we have evaluations, neurologists, follow-up MRI’s, and therapies to continue with.  This killed the chance of working full-time.  I couldn’t commit to those hours, knowing I have nine (9!!) scheduled appointments for my kids in the next two months.  I called the office back and spoke with the lady who originally reached out to me.  I canceled the interview.  She was very understanding and thanked me for being professional.  Told me if anything part-time came up, she’d let me know.  Very, very kind!

Then today while at lunch with a friend, I was saying how I feel like we just can’t catch a break.  Car accidents, medical problems, debt, expenses, life is just a burden lately.  When do we get a break?!  Two seconds after those words escaped my lips, my phone rang.  It was the HR department of another job I applied for, and this was for a part-time position!!  I have the interview next week.  This would be a wonderful opportunity and help us out financially!  I’ll need to figure out daycare and transportation, but before I stress about that, I need to snag the job.

While everything else is just a giant stress bubble weighing heavily on my shoulders, right now I have this glimmer of hope that things are changing.  Slowly – painfully slow – but surely.

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Travel + Toxic Family

We made it safely back from our trip to the midwest for a relatives wedding.  Cash funded the entire trip!  I purchased the airfare back in March when there was an airfare sale, $1200 round trip for four people.  I saved $1500 cash for the trip itself.  I planned this all back when finances were much, much better.  I considered canceling the entire trip, only to find our airfare was nonrefundable.

Our rental car was reserved through Priceline and it was $239 including estimated fees and taxes.  Final rental car price after fees, fees, and more ridiculous fees, was $312.  I’m a little irked about that.  Not to mention the carseats they gave us were disgustingly dirty, I had to wipe them down before strapping the kids in!

Our hotel was $600 for four nights.  The hotel offered free breakfast in the mornings, but was very limited.  Only on the last day of our stay did the breakfast buffet include things like eggs, bacon, sausage, etc.  All of which were advertised as daily offerings.  Our room had a mini refrigerator and microwave, which allowed us to stock up on snacks, oatmeal, and yogurts for the kids.

We came in around $200 under budget for our entire trip!  $1200 airfare, $600 hotel, $300 rental car, and $400 on lunch and dinners for four people over the course of five days.  Eating out was a pain, as we were downtown in a big city, and most places within a 25 mile radius were on the pricier side.

My biggest take away from this trip: I don’t want to participate in another trip involving extended family.  As excited as I was to catch up with cousins and their new kids, aunts, and uncles, and for them to finally meet my kids, I felt the trip itself was not worth it.  The drama, the gossip, the fact that people “forgot” to include us in their plans, it was just a depressing headache.  Even the wedding wasn’t exempt from drama for the guests.  By the time we realized we were the fifth wheel, it was Sunday.  We decided to go off and do our own thing, only for 99% of places to be closed for the day.  We flew back home on Monday.  Being home never felt better!

I saw an image going around social media that was a short Christmas list.  One line caught my attention:

Don’t go visit family if it compromises your mental health.

That resonates heavily for us.  While we have some wonderful relatives, we’ve found a majority to be quite toxic.  From here on, we’ll save our money and stay home.  A card and gift will suffice in our absence.  Travel will be for family vacations, when finances allow for such fun again.  We went into this trip as a vacation, but it quickly turned into an obligation.

On a more positive note, the kids traveled wonderfully.  First time fliers, and they loved it.  DS2 slept like a dream at the hotel, a welcome change after our 2017 road trip.  I look forward to traveling with them again, on our own terms!  Until then, I clearly need to work on setting up boundaries with family.  Another positive is that we were able to check out a city that we’ve always considered a place we’d love to live.  We have crossed it off our list, it is definitely not for us.  🙂

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Anyone Know This Blogger?

Update:  Thank you everyone!  It is indeed Mysti from Digging Out From Our Mess.

I had all of my favorite blogs saved as bookmarks on the del.icio.us website.  That went kaput and I’ve lost them all.  😦

One blogger I enjoyed, I cannot recall their site!  Family of four, had an older home listed for sale for quite some time in Connecticut.  Eventually sold and they moved to one of the Carolinas near her parents.  Does this sound familiar?  I hope so!

She didn’t update much after the move, but I wanted to check in.  If you have any idea who this may be, please share the link!  🙂  Thank you.

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Health Insurance

As expected, it’s not good.

  • Lost $100 per pay period non-smoker discount.
  • 60/40 plans have been nixed entirely!
  • HSA option, but high deductible ($9,400 per person) & very limited allowed contributions ($274 employee, $590 employer)?!
  • Kaiser.  We’d lose access to all DS2’s specialists….

Now stuck selecting a 50/50 plan.  We pay 50%, they pay 50% after deductible ($5,750 ind. $14,100 family).  Rate went up $172 per paycheck from 2018’s plan.

Please someone, remind me…how is this affordable?  2018 rates are already 40% of DH’s take home pay.  This is going to jump another 10%.  We can’t do this.

I applied for six positions last week.  Four of them are full-time.  I’ll just have to make it work, it will be hard.  (DS2’s therapies/etc…)

Renter has yet to pay rent for September.  Which is also putting us in a bind.  Several bills now have late fee’s.  I’ll be passing that on to them!

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Anxiety & Open Enrollment

No update on the car accident insurance drama.  Other drivers insurance is claiming a hold up with getting a copy of the police report.  Which we already have!  And scanned and sent to them directly!  Always something.

But this post isn’t about that crap.  No, it’s about that dreaded time of year: Open Enrollment.  Basically picking out which health insurance sucks the least and won’t break the bank.  We don’t know the numbers yet, but we did receive a depressing flyer in the mail regarding our health insurance.

They are removing the non-smoker discount.  That automatically deducts another $100 from each paycheck.  $200 more gone per month, assuming our rates aren’t decreasing – LOL!  You know that would never happen!  Benefits already eat up 40% of DH’s paychecks.  We can’t afford this.  I’m not sure why a fortune 500 company offers such garbage plans to their employees.

I applied for four more jobs last week.  I feel good about one of them, but I know better than to get too excited.  Job searching has been horrific for my anxiety.  My nails are nubs, my memory is awful, I just can’t keep it together lately.  I’m trying so hard and feel like a giant failure at everything.  Budgeting, cooking, cleaning, life is just a mess right now.  This too shall pass, but it’s not fun being in the midst of it.

I’m also a bit down about “friends” and family.  They should be uplifting, but they are not.  Friends with jobs that have openings have not been honest or forthcoming about them, knowing I’m in the market – desperately – needing a job.  It’s a bummer how little support I feel.  A fresh start would be wonderful.

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Insurance Phone Tag

The accident I mentioned in my previous post, is {predictably} turning into a major hassle.  We took the truck to get quotes on repairs, but the shops wouldn’t look at it until we had an appointment scheduled through the insurance company.  Is this new?  Never had to do that before.

DH calls the other drivers insurance.  29 minutes to get a human on the line.  Only to transfer an additional five times.  Lady seemed nice enough, sets up appointment for the following day.  DH shows up, there’s no appointment scheduled.  They can fit him in, but not until the insurance company faxes over documents?!  He calls.  Waits.  Waits.  Leaves a voicemail.  Here we are two days later and still no call back on that.  For some reason the appointment was scheduled under my name, which made zero sense.  Not my car, not my accident, etc.

The shop takes pictures of the outside of the vehicle, and quotes the cosmetic issues to the tune of $3500.  But this doesn’t include anything underneath that needs repairs – radiator, engine, transmission, possible frame, etc.  They won’t do that until we bring the truck in to be repaired.  So basically, we have no idea what all is wrong with it or if it will be totaled, until we start repairs.  ?!??!

The shop guy told us we shouldn’t drive it, but we don’t have a choice in the matter right now, since we cannot get ahold of insurance to get a rental car situated.  Apparently they only cover specific rental companies, and we only have an Enterprise near us!

I’m pretty sure the frame is messed up.   While driving, there was a wind noise that sounded like a window was down or a door was open.  They weren’t.  It was driving me crazy.  Then when I took a right turn, the drivers side door flew open!!  It will not latch to close!  The damage from the accident is the passenger side front, we think the hit knocked every thing off kilter, but they won’t confirm that until we agree to repair.  UGH!

Now we just wait for the insurance lady to return our calls.  The shop said if repaired, it will take 8-10 days.  If totaled, we won’t know until somewhere in that timeframe either.  I do not like not knowing what is going on.  DH is still very sore, that’s concerning too.

I did check our auto loan, and it’s at $6800, better than the $7500 I thought it was.  Payday is Friday and we’ll have to put a chunk towards getting my car running again.  Hopefully it’s just a battery….but with our luck, who knows lol.

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